I think this article by Steve Deace printed in Townhall.com articulates very well what, "in my opinion", is happening to our country today! I fear greatly for my grand, and great grand children as to what type of civilization they will be living in in the future!?
The Progressive Bible
Steve Deace | Printed
in Townhall.com Apr 06, 2013
If you’ve been receiving your daily downloads from our media
intelligentsia, comrade, you know we must now all bow down at the altar of
demographics. Therefore, our traditions and morals must forevermore be defined
not by their truthfulness, but rather if they pass muster with those who binge
on Mountain Dew Code Red while watching “Modern Family” reruns.
Hence, we must evolve or we will die a cruel, slow death where Karma (the
only spiritual force beyond ourselves now officially recognized in our brave, new
world) sentences us to an eternity of Karl Rove-Dick Morris vaudeville shows as
punishment for our ignorant intolerance. That means the Bible must evolve, too,
lest it get left behind (pardon the pun) as Western civilization “progresses”
towards economy-collapsing debt, child sacrifice, sexual deviancy, and
compulsory state-induced stupidity.
Since I have absolutely no authority to amend or alter the Word of God, who
better than me to follow in the equally unqualified and arrogant footsteps of
the secularists and do so anyway. True, I could be risking Hell by doing so,
but Rob Bell has convinced me Hell doesn’t exist so I’m good to go. After all,
if you can’t rely on a wannabe shaman peddling postmodernism in hipster glasses
who can you trust?
Thus, to make the Bible more contemporary, inclusive, and progressive, here
are my top 10 verses that need to be “updated” for our enlightened age.
10. In the beginning the god of your understanding watched the “big bang”
occur, and then stood idly by for billions of years curious to see how this
whole evolution thing would turn out.
9. For we so love the state that we give it our only begotten offspring.
Whosoever believes in the state will not perish but get an Obama-phone and cash
for clunkers.
8. Thou shall steal when it’s your “right”, when someone is “rich,” or when
you’re a victim of white privilege.
7. Therefore, whatever god you recognize gave you over to the pure desires
of your loins, to hit it with any consenting adult and/or organic orifice that
floats your boat.
6. And one day every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that god
is whomever you need him/her/it to be.
5. Judge not lest ye believe in redistributing wealth, then judge much and
judge harshly.
3. And Moses said to the theocratic authoritarian denying diversity in
Egypt: “Let my people go into the wilderness so that they may recycle, commune
with nature, and repent for their carbon footprint.”
2. Jesus’ mother came to him because the same-sex wedding party had run out
of legalized marijuana. Jesus replied, “Maternal unit, why do you involve me? I
am still buzzing from our last stash.” Jesus’ mother replied to the
undocumented immigrants tending the wedding, “Do whatever he tells you.” So
Jesus told them: “Puff, puff, pass man…puff, puff, pass.”
1. Jesus said, “I am a good moral teacher. Believe in what you will, for
all roads lead to Heaven.”
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