Raising Children !!

My wife and I have raised three children to adulthood. No drug problems! No jail time! No unwed mothers! No alcohol issues! All three graduated from college and have good jobs and families! My wife and I learned early on that children will do whatever it takes to get what they want. First a parent’s job for children is to love them and protect them. Provide them with food, shelter and opportunity to thrive in this world into which they were brought! It is not the parent’s job to supply them with nice toys, designer cloths, an allowances, cell phones, iPads, cars and so on. These extras have to be earned! They can earn them with good behavior! It takes discipline on the parent’s part to not reward bad behavior! Yelling, screaming, spitting, swatting, talking back to adults, not doing chores and so on should never be rewarded or it will only continue and even get worse.  No spanking or time outs needed! Also don't confuse rewards with bribing! Saying I will buy you candy if you behave will turn into blackmail over time with the child! You must create an atmosphere in which your children realize that only behaving and following the rules will they be considered for rewards! You must be disciplined enough that when you say no it doesn't mean maybe! You have to be strong early on to not give in even when they beg and try to be sweet after you have made a decision! As time goes on they will come to realize if they want the good stuff from you only good behavior will work! This will also serve them well when they go out on their own in society! Also I would recommend a very tight noose when they turn into teenagers! A curfew, absolutely no alcohol, absolutely no illegal drug usage will be tolerated! No sex! And so on! You must be the bad cop and their friends have to understand that you will not tolerate bad behavior in your home! You also have to monitor their music and computer usage! No music in the home that promotes pre-marital sex, or violence of any kind! Computer usage must be done in the den not in their rooms! All computers and iPads should have applications loaded that restrict access to undesirable sites and have tracking so you can check where they have gone. Yes this takes a lot of time and effort but this is your job as a parent! Don't give into to this thing about their rights to privacy! You own the equipment so you have the right to restrict its use! You can't control what happens when the leave the house. Your only hope is by having tight rules they will learn to police themselves! Why such tight rules! Because teenagers want to break some rules and experiment! So for instance if you allow them to drink beer and stay out late, then to break a rule they will need to experiment with drugs and not even come home at times! If your rules are no alcohol they may have a beer and come home an hour late! If you allow them unfettered access to computers they may get into sites that could harm them! Or post something even worse! Wow have I rambled on..! Raising children is the most difficult thing you will ever do in your lifetime! Good luck!